So I was on my way to the counter of the health food shop (ha!) to purchase my health-conscious chocolate brownie* that I've been craving since first opening my eyes this morning (and probably before that, in my Gu-filled dreams), when my attention was drawn to this:
I mean, honestly - this is beyond human endurance.
"Food of the Gods" (aka chocolate in all its forms - except for the Vileness that are Hershey's Kisses - aloo chili and my mum's Tia Maria ice-cream) is one of my favourite phrases (coming a close second to "Black Soup of the Gods"). And here it is, that very phrase, inscribed across the packaging of "a rich luxurious dark chocolate bar with cocoa nibs". How could I be expected to resist this temptation?
No, I have no idea what cocoa nibs are. But I am willing, purely in the interests of market research of course, to find out...
Thankfully, however, during the course of the journey back from health food shop (ha!) to desk, I have analysed the situation and realised that my desire to make said purchase was in fact influenced, albeit on a sub-conscious level, by the fact that this bar is:
- 100% ethically sourced (so I am therefore selflessly contributing towards a higher standard of living for more people across the world)
- Organic (so therefore must be good for me)
- Gluten-free (so therefore won't... erm... cause me to expire from excess gluten)- Vegan (who am I kidding?)
So, take that, you Pernicious Marketers. You haven't sucked me in with your paltry Strapline of Joy meets Chocolate Product equals Winning Combination attempt at all. I'm simply being virtuous, healthy and... erm... eschewing gluten. Ha!
FAIL.
smitty1247
